Happy new year!

I wish for everyone!

Peace. Prosperity. Love. Happiness. Success. New Beginnings. New Dreams...

Wish you a very happy happy happy new year.

The year that was...2008!

was pretty good...God has always been kind to me...after all, when you go through the lows, you appreciate the highs much more, don't you?

New lovely OWN home. Check.
Good job I love going to, everyday. Check. ( Actually on most days)
Most days, happy and cheerful. Check.
Awesome Holiday to Italy. Check.
Found some amazing friends for keeps. Check.
Peace and Contentment. Check.


I am looking forward to a wonderful new year ahead, with lots of happiness, good memories, fun and loads of love! I hope and pray some of our dreams bear fruit this year! :-)

In 2009, I would love to see myself and everyone around me fitter and healthier!
In 2009, I take a resolution to be more practical and street smart!
In 2009, I take a resoultion to let go of my past and omit the bad memories!
In 2009, I promise to take each day as it comes and enjoy every single moment I have!
In 2009, I promise to share my love and happiness with everyone and try to bring joy to everyone!
In 2009, I promise to be thankful for what I have, which is in abundance compared to many other less fortunate people!

Thank you God, for loving your child, I love you too :-)
Thank you God, for S, for my parents and brother and for all the lovely people in my life.

People-watching and missing Amma!

People-watching is one of my favorite pastimes. On the train from Pisa to Florence, I did just that, with the music on, I could not help looking at the young couple so much in love and smitten with each other, the old yet smart couple completely engrossed in their conversation oblivious to anyone in the train compartment or the lady with a strong personality, who simply attracted my attention like a magnet.

...While I did that, the 'Maa' track from 'Taare Zameen Par' brought back memories of my beloved Amma. I was thinking how much she loves travelling and would have loved to see the beautiful countryside and meeting new people. I got really emotional and I guess, I was sub consciously thinking about how much I miss her....tears automatically rolled down my eyes. S, who was standing outside, listening to his music, came running worriedly asking what the matter is... When I told him, I miss my Amma, he smiled and said you are incorrigible. But I will definitely take her on a Europe trip in the future.


No matter how happy I am, I will always miss her and Appa. Appa is not a big fan of travelling, so am sure he would not enjoy this, anyway! Emotions catch up with you, when you are totally off guard or not expecting it, don't they?

Purple is the color of Italy!

It really is.....You can see the purple color everywhere....be it jackets, boots, accessories.....infact, they have special dedicated sections of purple colored clothes, accessories and awesome boots....

....When in Rome, be a Roman, Right? So, I bought myself a sweater jacket there in Purple!!! he he he...actually, I was feeling really cold and I didn't carry enough warm clothes, so I had to buy it and I really do like the color. :-) Everywhere in Italy, its purple, like its their national color or something!

The Journey was interesting!

We didn't choose to fly with Finn air for the best experience or anything, except that it was the best travel deal. Well, I guess you learn from your mistakes. To start with, the losers just gave us non-vegetarian food and didn't bother to even ask what our preference would be. So I speak to the steward and request him for a vegetarian meal. He tells me ' I know it sounds ridiculous, but we have run out of vegetarian meals' !!! So S and I went hungry with no food except for some dry bread and fruits on a 10 hour flight! He didn't even have the gall to apologise, just some dumb excuse and very nonchalant about it.

Anyway, I didn't want to dampen my holiday spirit and was generally enjoying myself listening to some music on my phone when the guy next to us is sobbing quietly. I ask S to ask him if somethings wrong? S in his usual caustic self asks me to mind my own business, and just ignores the guy. How can I feel happy about my holiday while someone is crying next to me? I wait for some time and hesitate, finally can't take it anymore and I ask him if something is wrong? He immediately says he's fine and smiles. :-) I know something is bothering him and wish I could help and yet can't. So, Stranger-on-the-flight-to-Helsinki-next-to-us, I hope you find peace with whatever that is bothering you. Maybe, he was missing someone or a loved one died, I will never know!

After the long and arduous journey, when we arrived in Rome, it was bloody cold...

Bella Italia!

....The trip was fantastic, hectic and an awesome experience. Very cold. Loads of WALKING. Beautiful Architecture.Beautiful and friendly people. Lovely Music. Books. Watching People. Good memories.

I will continue to share my thoughts through a series of posts or as I recollect my memories about the trip, pictures and how can I forget the little shopping I did? :-)

I always feel that travel to a different city or country exposes you to a different lifestyle and different people, that is completely different from your own 'comfort zone' - be it food, clothes, weather, people or their way of life...and I am glad I am blessed with an opportunity to explore the different facets of this world, other than my own little world. Well, at first glance, a few observations about Italy and most importantly, its people.

1. I felt thirsty ALL the time and I would drink gallons of water. Water is really sweet and I would really look forward to drink water. I didnt notice any of the Italians drink water though. Water is water, how can anything else replace it? They drink something called 'water with gas' which tastes like soda.
2. The women are very well-dressed and wear elaborate eye makeup and all kinds of glamourous boots. The Italian men are very tall and good-looking, which is a known fact, I guess.
3. I felt very sad to see lots of lonely old couples or single senior citizens everywhere. Most of them live all alone, shivering in the cold, senile and longing for company.
4. Most of them don't speak English. But you can manage to communicate with some rudimentary words and signs!
5. I was surprised to see there is hardly any vegetable in Italian cuisine. As it is, we had a hard time finding vegetarian food, even if we did it was the same tomato-cheese pizza or pasta. After some time, the lack of spice gets to you, even though I am quite fond of cheese and pastas, it gets boring over time.
   
6. As it gets dark pretty early, I felt like people are very disciplined and retire pretty early. At home, it feels very lively and people are always active throughout the day and even late at night. Around 6.30 - 7, most shops are closed and the streets are empty and you don't see too much activity.

Leaving you with a sneak peak of my little trinkets from Italy!

I am on a break!

S and I saw 'Dostana' yesterday night and it was a much-needed distraction from all the tension and sad turn of events in the Mumbai terror attacks. Those images haunt me and I keep going back to what their families must be going through. I send a silent prayer for all them to cope with their loss, its very difficult, easier said than done....but life has to go on for them. Me too. The Mumbai Siege reiterates the fact that we should live each day as it comes and enjoy every single day doing things you have always wanted to, like there is no tomorrow...literally!
I leave for Italy tomorrow night and my flight is from Mumbai-Delhi-Helsinki-Rome. I can't help but fervently hope that we return home safely. Of course, finally it is DESTINY. But I have to admit that there is a morbid fear of 'what-if', must admit! What has become of my beloved country? We will come through this, this too shall pass. I know that!

Anyway, I am hoping to have a lovely holiday and explore the lovely country Italy is! :) I hope I am missed a teeny weeny bit when I am away!! I will be away for 2 weeks, on vacation, the much awaited trip to Italy with my S! I am back on the 18th of December. I shall be back with stories and pictures to share with you guys. See you all on the other side of my break! :) Keep smiling!!!

Horror Stories!

I am very scared of watching of ghost movies, not the gory ones where the characters wear make up or masks. The movies that have the most unpredictable things happening especially the background music. On Friday night, S and I were watching ‘1920’ and halfway through the movie, S wanted to go read a book in the bed. I pleaded with him to sit with me and watch! (Now, I am very scared but I want to see the entire movie too. Yup, I am weird!).

Then we got into this conversation about whether ghosts exist and stuff like that. S said he didn't believe in it. I said I do believe there are spirits, how else can you explain this feeling that someone touched you or you get up in the middle of the night when you are sure you heard something?

I remember when I was a kid, I went to Delhi for a vacation and my cousin narrated a ghost story so well that I didn’t sleep for many days. I also watched ‘The Alien’ along with my brother in my neighbour’s place and came back home with horrified images in my mind. For atleast a week, I would get up in the middle of the night and cry that my stomach is swollen and an alien is going to burst open! My poor Mom had to go to work the next day and she too had sleepless nights, thanks to yours truly! She would scold me that if you are so scared, why do you watch all this crap??!!!

I am incorrigible that way. I still watch them even now fully knowing i'll have sleepless nights. Especially if S is away and I am home alone, I can’t wait for the day to dawn! I will count from 1 – 3, and run to the bedroom from the lounge. If I am thirsty and I would feel like drinking water, I won’t go to the kitchen for water. I will simply sleep thirsty!!

I don't know why I do that but I recollect the scary images from the movie, and then utter shlokas to calm myself or to sleep. :D I have to watch ‘normal stuff’ before I go to sleep.

Wish me luck coz S is gonna be away travelling and I really hope there is no horror movie on T.V! Anyone has similar stories to share? :)

Its a GOOD sign!

A few days back, Amma told me that she has been reading 'Sai Charitham' for good things to happen to both her children, me and my brother. She called me at work and asked me to go to a Shirdi SaiBaba temple, if possible, and that too on a Thursday and it was that same day. She felt she had an intuition and good feelings about it and insisted I should go right in the evening.

Though, I was real tired after a long day at work, I decided to go to the temple atleast for Amma's sake. I parked my bike as it was a super busy road and walked up to the temple. I went in, prayed and did my namaskaarams and when I looked into his eyes, I could see a kind face with really warm eyes and I felt as if he was saying to me 'Don't worry, you are my child. I will take care of you'. I felt really good and felt a sense of calm...I honestly felt nice going to the temple. I was quiet for a long time, at peace with myself, which is really rare with me!!

Today, an elderly couple whom I have never met before, but stay in our apartment complex, came home to invite us for the Sthapna of Sai Baba. They gave us the most beautiful invitation I have ever seen, ornate with embroidery and I was so excited to see the exact picture of Sai Baba on the cover, that I saw in the temple!!! I am overwhelmed with joy and feel its a good sign from HIM.
I don't think its just a coincidence.Thank you God, for being so kind to me and for everything you have blessed me with!! :) I called Amma to tell her this and she was overjoyed to say the least!! :-) KEEP THE FAITH.

Let go!

Every one comes into your life for a reason (Courtesy Brian A. "Drew" Chalker). Some of them stay for a reason, a season and a lifetime. We all often learn and unlearn a few things from each other. Though, I often proudly declare that I don't care what others think about me or perceive of me, I was wrong. I do care! But I have realized that my concern is misplaced. Respect is very important in every relationship, be it a friend, your partner or your sibling. PERIOD.

Most of us spend a lot of time wondering what others will think of us or trying to please someone who is not totally worth the effort. Life is short and is filled with numerous possibilities. Make the most of it, hang on to your loved ones and experience joy. Believe in HIM, he will take care of everything. Have faith, Be good...he does. He knows when it is the right time and everything will fall into place.

In fact, I remember Preeti writing a post on 'Radiators and Drains'. She explains how some people come into your life and radiate positive thoughts and how some Drains do everything they can, to make you feel miserable, sad or unworthy. Stay clear of such associations. Move on. My mom often tells me 'Nobody is worth suffering'. I have come across many people who do not let you feel happy and harass you emotionally. This is all I feel right now - “Treat others as you want them to treat you because what goes around comes around”.

S often tells me 'You cannot get hurt until you want to get hurt yourself '. I am hurt today coz I want to get hurt probably. I have learnt a lesson, the hard way round. Right now, I have decided to let go. LET GO. I am in a happy place now and noone can take it away from me, by God's grace. I am good. Infact, GREAT!!! :-)

Lighter moments...

...For some reason I remembered this and I need to put this up here!! When I was staying in my rented flat, a dear friend and neighbour S ( she reads this blog too) would come over for a chat with her daughter. One of those days, she went down to her place to run some errand while her 3-4 yr old daughter A stayed with me. I was wearing a colorful beaded bracelet and she wanted it. As we played with each other, she pulled the bracelet with all her might and it came off and all the beads were strewn over the floor. She looked at me for a long time and then came up to me and said ' Mein tere pav padthi hun, mujhse galthi ho gayee...mujhe maaf kar do! ' ( I fall on your feet, I made a mistake, please forgive me) with a very sad face and cuteness-personified. I forgot all about my lovely bracelet and had a hearty laugh....and said 'of course, its ok!! You don't worry baby...'

Kids!! Influence of TV!! I don't think I can ever forget that episode...I relate it to people all the time!!! Kids are sooo cute sometimes that you can't stay mad for too long :-)

People need love even when they don't deserve it

....I have always believed that LOVE is what makes us all happy and I posted the Poll on the blog to reiterate my belief. The Poll results confirmed that and how! Everyone voted only LOVE as their source of happiness as compared to Money or success.

One word frees us of all the weight and pain of life: That word is LOVE!

I don't understand why...

Its ok to smile and laugh when you are happy, but its a sure sign of weakness if you cry.

If a man is assertive and confident, he has a great personality while a confident and assertive woman is arrogant and aggressive.

If a man prioritizes his family over everything else, he is a family man while a woman is unprofessional and makes excuses.

If a woman has a career and even remotely ambitious, she is running after money.

If women chat up, its gossip, while the men are having an intellectual conversation.

When the woman takes up a job, it is only expected that she support the family when the standard of living is so high while the man helps out a bit at home, he is nothing less than a martyr or hero!

If a man gets promoted, he is capable and deserving while the woman surely must be having an affair with her boss or flirts too much to get there.

Disclaimer: The above observations are not reflective of my personal life but just a few things I have noticed happening in and around me, some of them with me too!! I am also not a woman's libber or anything, I just find that this is absolute discrimination.

SUPW!

Wondering what SUPW is?? Well, back in school, we used to have a period dedicated to SUPW, which means Socially Useful and Productive Work. We would all do some craft work with glue and other little shiny stuff...and we did pretty well. Over the weekend, I did the same thing as S was watching cricket and I wanted to give him at least some time, before I demand that he switch channels!! :D So I did some craft work in my pet-project, my teeny little garden!!!

1. Took some random stones and stuck it on the mutka which we don't get to use!

2. Rearranged the rack to include a night-lamp that we don't use!

3. Stuck the un-used sunflowers which do not float anymore for some reason unknown to me, on the wall.






















4. Stuck some blue stones on the clay-uruli amma got me, when we all went to a home decor exhibition in Pune and put some floating flowers in it.

5. Took our magazine rack and put it up on the wall.

Even if i say so myself, I am mighty pleased with it!!! :D

Little things!

I am stuck in a traffic jam for more than 3o minutes and totally frustrated with the whole situation, coz I really want to go to my cozy home after a long day at work.....when a baby smiles and coos at me and continues to smile, from an auto nearby! I can see spectacular fireworks in the sky, some one has saved some crackers for Diwali! :-)

There is a huge smile on my face and I am in a happy place! :D

For Pasta Lovers!

(Picture sourced from the net)

Ingredients:
For the sauce:

ginger paste
garlic paste
tomatoes - 3
chopped onions - 1
1 cup milk
2 cheese slices
oregano and other herbs for seasoning

Pasta

any pasta you like - macaroni, fussilli, etc.

Assorted vegetables - chopped ( mushrooms, cauliflower, broccoli, carrot, beans, etc..)
Procedure:

1. Pour some oil in a wok and fry the ginger and garlic paste till it changes color. Meanwhile, grind the chopped onions and tomatoes into a puree.
2. Transfer the puree into the wok and fry for about 3 - 5 minutes till the mixture starts leaving out water. Add the seasonings, the oregano and other herbs.
3. Warm the milk in the microwave for a minute or till it is slightly warm. Cut the cheese slices and add it to the milk.
4. Add this milk-cheese mixture into the tomato puree mixture in the wok.
5. Simmer for 5 minutes, you may also add some more milk if you feel it is too thick. It must have the consistency of condensed milk yet not too thick.
6. Boil the pasta like you would normally do ( In warm water with salt and a drop of oil) and keep aside.
7. Saute different vegetables with salt till it is cooked. Add this to the boiled pasta..
8. When the pasta is ready to be eaten, dribble the sauce over the pasta-vegetable saute and have an awesome meal! You can sprinkle some grated cheese before you serve ( if you want to!)
   Bless me as you eat! :D

Preparing for the trip...

Preparations are in full swing for our Italy Trip...we have started processing the visa formalities and also been discussing what can be covered in Rome, Venice, San Gimignano, Capri and Naples...like the 'must-see' places...any suggestions are welcome, please hit the comment space!

Got an awesome bag yesterday while we bought a big trekking bag for the trip. I am going to inaugurate it only on the trip...which is exactly a month away, and if you know me personally, you would know how much self-control it required for me to not use something new! But i will wait...after all, patience is a virtue!

I finally found a cordurouy coat in Camp ( in Pune) and it looks pretty awesome! I love it, was not as expensive as I expected it to be...

S and I will need to take a day off for the Visa, as we need to go to Mumbai for the interview. I have heard so much about the 'Deccan Queen' from my friends that I wanted to go there by 'Deccan Queen'. S is not too keen, he prefers a taxi, but I convinced to go atleast one way, maybe when we get back here...So the plan is after the Visa interview, we will go shopping in Mumbai, I know of "Linkin Road", can localites or Mumbai-experts give me some suggestions for shopping? We might as well make use of the day off, and I have heard so much about the variety-price advantage in Mumbai, I have to see it to believe it. I am only going to window-shop, I promised S! Between you and me...yeah, right!! ( Again, please hit the comment space, if you have suggestions)

Edited to add: My Mumbai trip is cancelled and my shopping plans have gone kaput! Coz the visas got stamped without an interview as S has travelled to Europe earlier and I have also been to UK a couple of years back. So much for my plans! Hmmppph.....S is very happy about all the money we have saved!

This weekend was good fun, watched movies back-to-back on Zee Studio, HBO, Star Movies and Cable that I have lost count of how many movies we saw! Also, I am mighty thrilled about my culinary expertise. We go to a restaurant called 'East Street Cafe' and another Italian Cuisine Restaurant, I forget the name, they serve some amazing pasta with the most fantastic sauce. I figured out how to make that sauce at home by trial and error and I was able to figure out the ingredients as well. It was super awesome!! Now, we don't have to spend so much money eating outside, I can make it right here at home and that too that tastes exactly like the one served in the fancy restaurants. My love for pasta is an acquired taste, thanks to S! I am so glad I can make it myself now, I wrote it down in my recipe book lest i forget...any takers?

Diwali as a kid!

Nowadays, after every festival, it takes me back in time, like I did this the last time. Apart from Janmashtami, Diwali is another festival I really look forward to. I find the significance of celebrating Diwali really meaningful. As a grown-up now, I understand that it is a celebration of the victory of good over evil.

As a kid, all I could think of, was the new clothes, crackers and holidays that I would spend playing with my friends all day! I remember cursing myself for being a girl, coz my hair would take some time to dry and I would have to wait to burst crackers while my brother would wake up at the crack of dawn and start bursting the more 'dangerous' ones while I would stick to flowerpots and discs, maybe... After lunch, we would change into old clothes and burst 'bijli vedi' by hand!!

Sometimes, I would burst one or two in my hands and hurt myself, but would bear it coz I did'nt want to made fun of, or worse, sent home! We would also collect all the ones that did'nt go up, remove the gunpowder and then, put all the remaining small 'not-so-dangerous' bijli or kuruvi vedi into a coconut shell and light it. We used to be mighty thrilled when it would fly in all directions as if we had achieved a major feat! It was considered a 'seniors' activity and I would rant and rave that I want to join my brother. He would grudgingly let me tag along coz my mom would'nt let him go without me. She would be tired from all the work at home, the least she would want is a stubborn, crying, cranky kid bugging her!

Then, for the gala, we would all save up our fancy and expensive crackers like Rockets, seven stars among others, pool it and we would all go to the terrace and hand over our precious crackers to the senior kids ( read brother and kids of his age) . We would all watch the beautiful sparkles and enjoy ourselves all together as a group. We had a lovely group in our colony, and even otherwise we would all play together. My brother and I, were so happy we lived there...we finished our homework and assigned household chores and run to play everyday! I am, still in touch, with a few of them through orkut or facebook even now.

Amma would make tons of 'ribbon pakoda' and my brother and I, would eat to our heart's content and stomach's discomfort. What fun those days were!!

Now, I have mellowed down and spend Diwali lighting diyas at home, as you can see and visiting and receiving friends...which is great too!! I am spending a 'grown-up' Diwali, spent most of the extra off's from work, watching movies back-to-back, nice conversations with S, eating bhuttas and reading books! Of course, even now the excitement of new clothes has not gone down! I wore lovely clothes and preened in front of the mirror!

I presume when we have kids, my enthusiam for crackers will resurface or not..who knows? Will have to wait and watch!!

Diwali in our own home, 2008!

Girls of Hollyoaks FHM UK September Cover

What if this had been?

What if that had not been?

Do not fret away

Remember, everything happens for a reason

You are so blessed in many ways

Why don't you acknowledge that?

Have faith, keep going

There is light at the end of the tunnel

Optimism is your mantra

Live for the moment, cherish these happy memories

This time will not come back

Remember, the future is bright and beautiful too

Yes, it most definitely is...

Festive season begins at home!

( The Mirror idea is inspired read copied ;-) from TheMadMomma! Thank you so much for the idea, I love it!! :-)

I bought small mirror pieces in various sizes and stuck it on the wall with one-sided tape. ( After scouting all over the place for it!). It catches the sunlight and twinkles now and then...I can't stop feeling so thrilled about it. As usual, I bought YET another set of artificial flowers, now I have lots of flowers in every bathroom too!! :-)

Wonderful years since Oct 11, 2002

TODAY, S and I complete 6 years of knowing each other...Oct 11, 2002 is a very important day in our lives - It is the day we met for the first time!I don't always remember the dates, S is better at that, but this time I remembered!

When I met him for the first time, I thought 'Wow! He is tall and cute!'....Now, I could write a never-ending story about him! :-) I think that says it all..

Perspective!

To get a perspective on this, I asked S what would be his impression of me as a third person or for that matter, what does he think? Do I appear arrogant?

To which his response is a well-thought out answer, he says Firstly, you are much taller than the average Indian male, which not many are comfortable with.Secondly, you are not the coy demure woman, but a confident woman who speaks her mind with absolutely no fear, even with me.Thirdly, I am not saying this as your husband, but even looking at you as a third person, you are not over-bearing or dominating. You are just so sure of yourself which is fantastic and I love that in you. So chill babe, you are cool and its a good trait and many people work towards getting where you are now.

He was like, to give you an example, your tailor ( we were discussing this while returning home from the tailor shop!) ...he welcomes you so warmly and goes J Madam..J Madam...and does so much to accomodate to your urgency or needs... I did'nt see his behave so nicely with the other women there. why do you think he does that?

Because, you treat him with respect and you are really nice to him. You laugh and joke with him like you would do with any normal person....So you are a lovely person! Your spirit and enthusiasm is really infectious and endearing...

Now, you know why I love S so much!!! :P ( It made my day to hear that from him, genuinely!!) :-)

The weekend that was...

Most part of Sunday was spent in an office get-to-gether with S's office colleagues. It was interesting to meet their families and adorable kids and babies. S and I were the youngest couple there... As I made conversation with one of the women, a mother of two, I realized that everyone yearns for something or the other in life. They always want something else, in contrast to what they have..she kept telling me how she could not pursue a career despite being well qualified as her inlaws/husband did'nt want her to work after she got married. She has two beautiful kids. I thought to myself ' So Its not just me then, who wants different things at various points that keeps changing constantly!' ;-)
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The preparations for the trip in December are in full swing and we are almost done except for the visas. Got some nice walking shoes for me as we will need to walk a lot and I thought it makes sense to invest in some good shoes instead of carrying numerous pairs there. We scoured numerous shops before we got something that I liked, coz I have big feet!!! I have been trying to find some nice shop to buy a stylish trench coat. There are awesome styles and colors abroad, which are not too expensive either...I looked it up on the net but there is no shipping to India. I will need to ask around and look...that is one major essential detail that needs to be taken care of...which I did...I asked my friend Tess to buy it for me, coz she is in the States now and we had a long discussion about colors, sizes, prices, styles et al! Persistent you say? That I am...very sweet of Tess to help too! Lets see how it works out.
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I try to stick to fruits on Mondays throughout the day. An attempt to cleanse the system and lose weight too. But by evening, I feel really pukish with no salt throughout the day, so i have fruits for lunch and some cornflakes and milk and something light for dinner like soup or sometimes if i am really hungry, i have dosa! :-) It really does cleanse the system, feel like all the toxins are flushed from my system. You can try it, it really helps.
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Things are in a state of flux right now in my life. I have to wait for a couple of months to understand or even know how its gonna be... keeping my fingers crossed and hope everything happens for the best. I have faith in GOD, he knows what is best for us.
P.S - This is my 150th Post! :-)

Intimidating?

I have been told many times by several people that ( especially by men) they find me very intimidating. Apparently, I am always very sure of myself and sound really confident and fearless. Yes, I am a confident person but I fail to understand why I am intimidating? I would be lying if I say it does'nt bother me. It does.

While my mom thinks its good that people are scared of me and that men always find smart women intimidating! :P...I genuinely don't want to come across as if I am unapproachable or intimidating, especially in the workplace. It happens that people form a perception and it tends to stay as I don't really get an opportunity to prove otherwise, unless the other person gets to know me personally, which can be rare. I must admit I am not one of those shy, demure kind of women nor someone who hesitates to speak her mind. Is that arrogant behavior? I don't think so! I do not mince words. PERIOD. At the same time, I am not rude, am polite but am not sugary sweet.

As a result of all this behavioral speculation, I have tried to tone down my personality, so to speak. I try to think before i speak and ensure that I don't sound 'arrogant' or 'intimidating'. In this painstaking ( for me, it is)process of modifying my personality, I forget what I really want to say and end up focussing on how I come across...which is not a great help either! All my thoughts are lost in the presentation!
What do I do? I can't say 'I am like this wonly! Take it or leave it! In the real world, it does'nt work that way. Any suggestions?

A dear friend of mine has adopted a baby girl recently. When she went in for the adoption, she found her child and messaged me 'I found my daughter' and I know she meant it immediately. When she came back and informed me in person, her face was radiant with happiness and lit up with joy. When I hugged her tightly, I saw her bright-eyed with tears. I said a silent prayer for my friend who has been through a lot...

Her excitement and happiness is so infectious that I can't help being happy for her. She will bring home the baby today and we plan to go visit her tomorrow and welcome the little bundle of joy with gifts, love and loads of affection.

I have a small request to the readers of this blog. I blog in my original name, I know....and essentially write for myself, to chronicle my life...in the process, if you would like to know or interact with me and my thoughts, i totally love and appreciate it. But please do not discuss the blog topics with me or my family. For the simple reason that what i write here comes from me, not S, not my family...and once again, its MY blog! Thank you very much. I appreciate it. If you have something to say, say it here...you have to take the effort to comment. You can choose to remain silent too...not only here, anywhere! PERIOD. If you are inquisitive, its your problem! Deal with it. and NO! I am not going to stop writing!

Tales of a different kind...

I love watching T.V. and I have no qualms saying that! Having said that, I don't really watch the saas-bahu serials with a vengeance, but follow 'travel and living' and am a big F.R.I.E.N.D.S, Desperate Housewives and offlate, SATC fan!


I have been watching a new serial 'Balika Vadhu' on Colors Channel. 'Balika Vadhu' literally means 'Child Bride' which is prevalent in the rural areas of India even today! It beautifully describes the travails of a child bride, from the child's perspective with some fun elements too. The protagonist is a lovely child with such expressive eyes and innocence that when she cries or longs for her mother or wants to live her life as a child instead of being burdened with 'adult' responsibities so early on in life, it tugs your heartstrings...for that matter, all the characters in the serial play their part very naturally which is probably why I look forward to seeing it. The obvious discrimination angers you...


Hats off to the creative team for coming up with such a meaningful serial which not only entertains but also sends a message across clearly.

* Conditions apply!

You look at some interesting sale or tempting offer and get all excited. Your excitement is all dampened the minute you see the little * somewhere in the corner, in a tiny font yet it can't be ignored. Lots of things in life too comes with conditions, don't they? Let me list down some I have noticed among people, mostly the unsaid part!

• I love you if you love me too*
• I love being in a relationship provided I have my space*
• I enjoy working provided every alternate day is a holiday* ;-) ( This could be my wish!)
• You can be very frank and say what you want to, as long as you say what i want to hear*
• I feel close to people as long as they say all the right things*
• I am open to feedback as long as you don't criticize me*
• I love my parents as long as they don't interfere in my life*
• You adore me only if I buy expensive gifts for you regularly*
• I am a good person only if I don't have an opinion of my own on anything whatsoever*

You can comment here only if you have the patience for it*

*Conditions apply! Go on, add some more if you have anything...

'A thousand splendid suns' - Khaled Hosseini

I was so desperate to read this book and since I just did'nt find the time to go buy it or for that matter, when I did go shopping I simply forgot, I read the e-book ( I can hear book lovers gasping coz I know lots of people like to read from a physical book). I know that there is a certain charm in reading books which goes missing when you read it virtually. Well, something is better than nothing.

I have heard so much about this book from different people that I had great expectations. The author's eloquence takes your breath away and makes you feel as if you are with the protagonist as she goes through hell in every stage of her life. There is a world of difference between feeling sorry for those brave women by reading through the pages of a splendid book to actually going through all those adversities, humiliation, pain, agony, injustice, fear and so many conflicting not-so-pleasant emotions!

It made me think how lucky and blessed i am...to be where I am right now!

Edited to add: I am planning to read 'The Kite Runner' next...I have to warn you that the book does not leave you with a very happy feeling, it makes you really sad. On a totally different note, i saw 'what happens in vegas' this weekend, usual story but very funny!! I thoroughly enjoyed the movie!

Ban gaye ho tum meri dua... ( You have become my blessing!)

Like everyone else, if I know someone reading a palm, I extend my hand very eagerly...Offlate, I don't...but when I was in college, I would do that! My friend Ramya said I would have a very happy marraige and I would find someone who would love me unconditionally. I silently guffawed at it and thought 'yeah right!'...

Little did I know that it would indeed come true! As I see many relationships crumble around with me, even the 'intensely in love couples', it reminds me of how blessed and lucky S and I are, that we found each other. God does love me in his own way...sometimes, he gets angry with me and I have to go through some lows, which is bearable when we are there for each other....to help us tide through it. :-)
S is the perfect balance in our relationship. We (S and I) are a combination of introvert-extrovert, cautious-spontaneous, composed-flustered, mature-child-like, patient-impatient, guarded-expressive, diplomatic -outspoken...so you get the drift. We are absolutely different individuals, which is also the reason that keeps us glued together, maybe...

I love those moments, especially when I see him at the end of a work-day or when he hugs me, I feel like all is picture-perfect in my world! NOONE, but S, can bring that kind of warmth and security in my mind.

A friend of mine tells me I am a sappy wife. Honestly, I don't care what others think of me, to a large extent. No, this is not arrogance. Largely, I know what i want, cherish, treasure and love and I believe in appreciating the good things in life or the wonderful people in my life. I never want to have regrets later in life when I feel why did'nt I tell him how much I love him? Only change in me nowadays is that I simply smile. Earlier, i would get upset. Everybody is entitled to their opinion and so am I ( which i try to keep to myself). PERIOD.

Music, the rains and a long drive!

Last night, I had to stay back at work for a call late at night. S was off yesterday, so with much tredipation, I took the car to work...though i did'nt remember or realize that I would have to stay back for the call... So its about 10.30 p.m and I have to drive back home, late at night, and to add to that, its raining. Let me be honest, I was shit scared that I should reach home safely ( with S calling me every now and then, worried about me...it added to my apprehension!). Anyway, I got off to a good start and there was not too much traffic, obviously coz it was pretty late.

I put on the radio and there was some nice old hindi numbers....the lovely rains and the pleasant breeze....what can i say? I began to relax slowly and thoroughly enjoyed the drive...Usually, I don't even put on the music, coz I am scared that I won't hear others honking or something like that...I am on edge to even enjoy the music...

Sometimes, in life, some things turn out quite well even if it seemed really difficult when you started off, it could be the smallest of things!! When I first learnt to drive the car, I felt I could never do it right...I would think, you should know when to change the gears, also keep an eye on the road for cyclists, bikes, lorries, other cars, humans, animals AND maneuver the big thingy without hitting on anyone AND balance the clutch, accelerator and the brakes! There is only so much I can do, right? I am not yet there....but I am slowly getting there, in the process, learning to enjoy driving as well... Now, S need not force me to drive over the weekends ( I know he is doing it for my own good!), I volunteer to drive, which pleasantly surprises both of us!!

Its a very big deal for me to be out firstly, that late at night all alone and all by myself drive the car home! So i was thrilled to bits! :-)

I bought a nice skirt, one size smaller deliberately, so that its an incentive to work out...and you know what?...It already fits!! I am thrilled to bits...
I want to put it down here, so that I am encouraged to work out and discipline myself everytime i read it! :D

Blast from the Past!!

From the time I created an account in Orkut, after much prodding from my brother....in the last couple of years, there have been pleasant surprises ever so often in the form of a 'friend request' from friends in school, college, people I have met from tuitions, computer classes or even acquaitances like a friend's brother or sister!! While I am not all that kicked up about acquaintances, I am absolutely delighted when I hear from a school or college friend or someone with whom I shared a close relationship but we drifted due to respective careers, marraige or circumstances.

There is a lot of joy in exchanging information about our lives in the few years we have not been in touch albeit through IM or e-mails or even phone calls. After the first paper trail, I tend to think and wonder how we have all grown and changed ( for better or worse) in our respective lives, both physically, emotionally, proffesionally and personally.

I don't believe in living in the past. I enjoy every phase to the fullest and move on...and i think that's the way it works best. You can never hear me saying 'I wish we could go back in time'....I am very happy where I am right now, and I also enjoyed that time earlier. PERIOD. However, these little surprises are wonderful as it feels really good to know how my friends are doing and vice versa! Three cheers to orkut, indeed!! :-)
I can't access orkut from work coz its termed a dating site....so I am so kicked about going home to check orkut coz a friend would have left a scrap or posted pictures of themselves, especially curious to see their spouses coz we would have discussed at length about it in college, or friends who have just had babies....it brings so much happiness and i am so excited and gush all about it to S, who can't really relate to it coz he has never met them! :D

Something to look forward to...

The long weekend was extremely relaxing and we were blissfully living in our own heaven! :-)

S and I crossed our fingers and finally booked our tickets to Italy! :-) So the preparation starts now, and we pored the net, travel books and some detailed information from a dear friend, Asha who made a trip to Italy and Austria in April this year ( she has neatly filed all the details and I get ready-made organized information!). Last time, when we planned a trip to Singapore, it was much easier as we stayed with S's mama there who also took us around a lot! Here, we will obviously have to figure out accomodation, finances, leave, clothes ( yup, I never let go of any chance!) among other things...

Anyways, I am very excited about the trip and wanted to put it down in writing!! Something that I am REALLY looking forward to... if any blog readers have some information to share, please comment...

Living separate lives...

Speaking to my SIL on the phone, who lives in the U.S for a decade now, reminded me how much our lives are separate, even from immediate family nowadays...I remember how as a kid, I have spent many a vacation, playing with my cousins, stealing mangoes from the near by factory and feeling all heroic about it among so many other exciting things we did. I vividly remember my Dad used to give away prizes for all of us for which we had to learn the multiplication tables. We would have a competition and of course, the one who gives the maximum correct answers would win them! We lived near the beach ( my parents still do!) and we would all get up early in the morning and go the beach to play in the waters and later play seven stones, volleyball, throwball etc..When i think about it now, I did have a lot of fun and I have travelled all over the country with my Mom and sometimes, cousins too!

As we grew up, especially since i got married, except for a few e-mails here and there, and of course, thanks to our respective careers we have all moved apart.

S and I often wonder, if and when we have kids, they will hardly have any family, to interact or play with, except maybe our respective siblings ( we both have only one!), and that too, if we all happen to live in the same country...

Fact remains that, work takes up so much of our time during the week, that when weekend comes all we both want to do is spend time with each other rather than socializing. Everyone has termed us an 'anti-social' couple! Just so that we have more time on weekends, sometimes i try to do the grocery-shopping on Friday evenings coz I invite my friends for dinner or lunch. Since we moved to our new home, i try and call people over...

I have never stayed alone all my life or travelled alone anywhere until i got married. Now, I am used to both. I do miss my parents even now but I am kind of accustomed to it now. Initially, I would cry at night that I want to see my mother! :-) A 22-yr old crying for her mother, I know...I was too naive those days...I think I still am, in certain ways...but I can take care of myself now, atleast I think so! On occasions like birthdays, I feel bad that I am not there with them. I try to make it special for them, and that's when I did this for my Dad! Amma's birthday is on 30-aug and I am wondering how i can make it special for her... :-) Infact, I know what i am going to do...

The grass is always greener on the other side!

We all have fantasies that we hope that it may come true sometime in future. But sometimes when it actually does happen, you don't really think it was really all that worth it, it could be meeting someone of whom you had a better mental image than in reality or doing something you thought would be super fun!

One such fantasy of mine in my teens was to live alone or with friends and do anything I want with noone to supervise me or discipline me from watching T.V. to eating whatever I want, wear whatever i want... or to go anywhere I want to! I live that 'fantasy' very often whenever S is away on travel. The initial two days are fun, to be with myself and all the ruminating! I do watch T.V. and eat/not eat if i want to, or read as much as I want, without any practical chores to do...but by the third day, my feet needs to be dragged to go back to an empty home. There is an eerie silence in the house...which is kinda prickly!

One sentence that you can often hear me saying is 'An individual is an individual', but this turns into an overload of individual space. Indeed, the other side of the grass is always greener!!

My touch to a plain candle holder!

New additions to my Home!

Calmness Personified, Literally!

Our very own Buddha under a personalized Bodhgaya tree that emanates light ;-)

The other side of the grass is always greener!

We all have fantasies that we hope that it may come true sometime in future. But sometimes when it actually does happen, you don't really think it was really all that worth it, it could be meeting someone of whom you had a better mental image than in reality or doing something you thought would be super fun!

One such fantasy of mine in my teens was to live alone or with friends and do anything I want with noone to supervise me or discipline me from watching T.V. to eating whatever I want, wear whatever i want... or to go anywhere I want to! I live that 'fantasy' very often whenever S is away on travel. The initial two days are fun, to be with myself and all the ruminating! I do watch T.V. and eat/not eat if i want to, or read as much as I want, without any practical chores to do...but by the third day, my feet needs to be dragged to go back to an empty home. There is an eerie silence in the house...which is kinda prickly!

One sentence that you can often hear me saying is 'An individual is an individual', but this turns into an overload of individual space. Indeed, the other side of the grass is always greener!!

The Baronial Ellora Caves!

Its a no-brainer that I went to the splendid Ellora Caves over the weekend! :-) We made plans last weekend but finally did'nt make it coz we did not make proper arrangements. I have read so much about the Ajantha & Ellora Caves in History at school, I had great expectations. It did not disappoint me one bit, the architecture and the grandiose is simply magnificient...

Its about a 4.5 hrs drive and we spent about 4-5 hours exploring the caves on Saturday and we left Aurangabad on Sunday and drove back for another 5 hrs...S drove the car throughout,put up my legs and slept halfway!!! The natural light falls into some of the caves so beautifully..its a sight worth watching and I am assuming it is a deliberate attempt for natural light to flow in!! Some of the caves smell of bat poo but i guess that is something that can't be helped...and in some of the caves, restoration work is going on and hence are closed for visitors...There are about 35 caves or more in Ellora alone! By the time we finished exploring all the caves, it became dark and it started raining! S and I went to a nearby snack place and had kandha bhajiyas (onion fritters), and enjoyed watching the rain, while talking about our childhood days...it was a very pleasant evening!!

On the way back to the hotel, we stopped to buy Paithani sarees, which is an Aurangabad special and an age old art of weaving. I don't wear any sarees at all, so instead I picked up a Paithani Double Bedsheet...in black!! ( Yes, I love black!!)

I guess i really need to build my stamina coz i am feeling extremely tired and dragged myself to work today! My whole body aches and I look like I have worked hard at the construction site with the local mason!

But, S and I really enjoyed this trip that we plan to do many more such trips often...

Home Improvement Idea I - Revisited!

...Instead of spending some more money on buying furniture for the T.V. room in addition to the sofa in the Living room, diwan in the balcony, and numerous other necessities like double beds in every room....I converted an extra mattress into this low seating with colorful cushions thrown in....a cozy setting, ideal to cuddle up and watch T.V. or movies together... :-) It also has storage space where I can dump all the extra bedsheets, pillows and sundries...

Also, there are cloud shaped backrests which are not seen, as there are cushions in front of them!! Its the same thing, just a better photo!! :-)

Home Improvement Idea II

This is a simple paper light I picked up in Pondicherry. As part of customizing the T.V.Room, I pestered S to hang this up for me. Then, I took some artificial creepers and covered up the wires and viola! I have a pretty nice looking addition to the room which also provides light;-) What do you think? :-)

Natural fragrances are something!

When Ritu visited me, her sweet little daughter gave me a big bunch of Rajnigandha ( I have to say that I had no clue about these flowers before, though I have always curiously eyed it at the florist's shops!). It exudes such a lovely fragrance in the entire home, I have one more reason to get back home! No perfumes or room freshners can match the fragrance that nature offers - be it rajnigandha in this case or the smell of Jasmine ( I love fresh buds of Jasmine!).

I am addicted to this fragrance that I replenish it from time to time! An indulgence that is simple yet refreshing!

A weekend well spent...

Did a little bit of everything this weekend....and I have come to work with a good feeling! :-) Saw 'Jaane tu' on Saturday and thoroughly enjoyed it, a light-hearted romance with some humour every now and then...Both S and I did a bit of cleaning too, as I was equipped with the vaccum and S with Colin! ;-)...I am surprised to say that I actually enjoy cleaning and its almost therapeutic...went grocery shopping after the movie and made pasta for dinner! Pasta is something I could never imagine myself eating, but recently I have acquired a taste for it, thanks to S!

Sunday began late as I lounged around reading the paper in leisure and we had a heavy breakfast. S and I are planning to go to Rome in December and kept discussing the finances, leave at work and of course, the dates!! I have to figure out how to get the Schengen Visa done too and hopefully ( my fingers crossed!) our trip gets confirmed soon!!! I am soooooo excited...
That's how we planned our trip to Singapore last year and it was super fun!! We watched many movies too and played a game of scrabble in the evening, which was a lot of fun! All in all, we enjoyed ourselves TOTALLY!!

Edited to add: I am planning some new home improvements...will post pics soon as soon as they get done!..and oh! i almost forgot, I managed to get a haircut too!!

A MUST watch!

I saw an awesome movie called 'Pay it Forward' last night on HBO. What a beautiful movie! The movie starts off in the classroom and the teacher gives a Social Science project to the kids about changing the world and to believe that Goodness till exists. One of the kids ( the same kid who was the protagonist in 'The Sixth Sense') comes up with an ingenious project idea and the story moves on to show how the little project becomes a movement. It was a touching movie and reiterates at every point that there is Goodness in each one of us, just needs to be discovered by self!

I was bawling at the end of the movie ( I know I am hyper-sensitive!) and was gasping for breath, ya I cried sooo much. It inspired me to be a better person at some level and I will work on it. I don't want to reveal how it ends and spoil your experience.

I am sure there will be reruns of this movie, do watch it if you can !!!

What is this world coming to?

It was one of those days when S was away and I went to the nearest grocery store, on the way back home from work to buy my staple diet of bread! As i parked my bike, I noticed these school kids - two girls and a boy sitting right outside the shop ( Its a big shopping complex with lots of flats nearby) in a residential area. They were dressed in their school uniforms and must have been in Xth Standard...I just glanced at them as I entered the shop...

When i got back and was about to start the bike, I saw all of them smoking cigarettes...and the boy takes a drag on one hand, and slowly smooches the girl in the most vulgar and cheap kiss I have ever seen....the other girl looks on as she sits nearby at them! The girl he was kissing slowly smiles as she starts biting his neck!! I was shocked, to say the least and pinched myself to make sure that I am not having hallucinations in the middle of the day!

As I went back home, I had tears in my eyes and I don't have a reason for it. I just cried and was really upset to see innocence raped like that...I am not a prude, but what i saw that day saddened me a hell lot...They were kids, for God's sake!

Restless!

I am feeling restless right now...( all those well-meaning friends out there, I am absolutely fine, no problems...its just me!)...I feel as if I didn't do anything completely if you know what I mean? I could have pursued my Music with more passion instead of simply going with the flow like everyone else...why didn't I goad myself further, I think, when I hear awesome soul-stirring music and think why didn't i explore the music in me...I can already hear my mom in the background screaming 'I told you so...'.

I have a healthy mix of friends, there are those who are happily married with kids within a year or so, totally domesticated and there are those who are pretty much single and career-oriented jet-setting around the world and there are some others who are precisely like me. I am neither here nor there....I am not too domesticated nor too ambitious. Is that good or bad? Most importantly, does it need to be good or bad? what's important is that I am comfortable where I am...Well, I AM! But I do think once in a while if I am living life to the fullest, doing everything that i wanted to do?

Life is wierd sometimes, and the human mind is even more complex. All you can think of is about acheiving or getting something and once you do, you move on to greener pastures now that its done! You dont linger on to enjoy or appreciate what you have achieved..isnt it?
I hate people who cross items off their balance sheet and check with you to compare with yours! Am i not doing the same?

Sometimes, in the middle of the day, I feel like hugging someone or wonder if a hug would clear my mind? I really need the warmth of a hug, maybe I want reassurance, I dont know, am i weird?

So this is what is royalty?!

With the lovely weather and monsoons comes the inconvenience of trudging along slippery and slushy roads while riding the bike to work...As I rode to work today, I see a cute little 'royal' kid of maybe 3 yrs or so on the road....I say 'royal' coz his mom scurries along with him hurriedly, holding an umbrella over him, while he saunters along with her, casually glancing at everyone, enjoying the weather and basically enjoying himself totally, oblivious to the chaos around him and a quizzical expression on his cute little face...I just could not stop smiling... Children, I tell you!! :-)

Where do i stand?

The car driving is going on well and I have successfully driven to work for the past one week, though it requires deep concentration and I am soo much on edge that I am all stressed out and sweating! :-) But I am not giving up and continue to drive even when it was raining today and I was not too confident...

With S being away, I didnt really look forward to the weekend. Surprisingly, time flies when you are with friends...I went for a movie on Saturday with Vibs and her husband Bajrang, the movie was nothing to write home about...but was good fun meeting up with them. They came all the way to my place to pick me up and got dropped back as well as it was quite late in the night... On Sunday again, I met up with my friend A and over lunch, we decided on going for a movie yet again! Off we went to her place, informed her husband and went for the movie 'Aamir'. The movie is quite short by Bollywood standards, but an awesome movie. Everyone should see this 'must-see' flawless script! I simply loved the movie.No song-dance routine or any item number rubbish that draws your attention away from the main plot. So it was a well-spent weekend, but at the end of the day, I still missed not having S around me...

On the work front, a senior manager has kindly accepted to be my mentor. I was suprised that he judged me so well in just a matter of few minutes. I am working on being positive, calm and to overcome my emotions which will definitely help develop my professional demeanour and personally as well. Now that I have identified where I could improve myself, I am going to start working on it seriously...