Ban gaye ho tum meri dua... ( You have become my blessing!)

Like everyone else, if I know someone reading a palm, I extend my hand very eagerly...Offlate, I don't...but when I was in college, I would do that! My friend Ramya said I would have a very happy marraige and I would find someone who would love me unconditionally. I silently guffawed at it and thought 'yeah right!'...

Little did I know that it would indeed come true! As I see many relationships crumble around with me, even the 'intensely in love couples', it reminds me of how blessed and lucky S and I are, that we found each other. God does love me in his own way...sometimes, he gets angry with me and I have to go through some lows, which is bearable when we are there for each other....to help us tide through it. :-)
S is the perfect balance in our relationship. We (S and I) are a combination of introvert-extrovert, cautious-spontaneous, composed-flustered, mature-child-like, patient-impatient, guarded-expressive, diplomatic -outspoken...so you get the drift. We are absolutely different individuals, which is also the reason that keeps us glued together, maybe...

I love those moments, especially when I see him at the end of a work-day or when he hugs me, I feel like all is picture-perfect in my world! NOONE, but S, can bring that kind of warmth and security in my mind.

A friend of mine tells me I am a sappy wife. Honestly, I don't care what others think of me, to a large extent. No, this is not arrogance. Largely, I know what i want, cherish, treasure and love and I believe in appreciating the good things in life or the wonderful people in my life. I never want to have regrets later in life when I feel why did'nt I tell him how much I love him? Only change in me nowadays is that I simply smile. Earlier, i would get upset. Everybody is entitled to their opinion and so am I ( which i try to keep to myself). PERIOD.

Music, the rains and a long drive!

Last night, I had to stay back at work for a call late at night. S was off yesterday, so with much tredipation, I took the car to work...though i did'nt remember or realize that I would have to stay back for the call... So its about 10.30 p.m and I have to drive back home, late at night, and to add to that, its raining. Let me be honest, I was shit scared that I should reach home safely ( with S calling me every now and then, worried about me...it added to my apprehension!). Anyway, I got off to a good start and there was not too much traffic, obviously coz it was pretty late.

I put on the radio and there was some nice old hindi numbers....the lovely rains and the pleasant breeze....what can i say? I began to relax slowly and thoroughly enjoyed the drive...Usually, I don't even put on the music, coz I am scared that I won't hear others honking or something like that...I am on edge to even enjoy the music...

Sometimes, in life, some things turn out quite well even if it seemed really difficult when you started off, it could be the smallest of things!! When I first learnt to drive the car, I felt I could never do it right...I would think, you should know when to change the gears, also keep an eye on the road for cyclists, bikes, lorries, other cars, humans, animals AND maneuver the big thingy without hitting on anyone AND balance the clutch, accelerator and the brakes! There is only so much I can do, right? I am not yet there....but I am slowly getting there, in the process, learning to enjoy driving as well... Now, S need not force me to drive over the weekends ( I know he is doing it for my own good!), I volunteer to drive, which pleasantly surprises both of us!!

Its a very big deal for me to be out firstly, that late at night all alone and all by myself drive the car home! So i was thrilled to bits! :-)

I bought a nice skirt, one size smaller deliberately, so that its an incentive to work out...and you know what?...It already fits!! I am thrilled to bits...
I want to put it down here, so that I am encouraged to work out and discipline myself everytime i read it! :D

Blast from the Past!!

From the time I created an account in Orkut, after much prodding from my brother....in the last couple of years, there have been pleasant surprises ever so often in the form of a 'friend request' from friends in school, college, people I have met from tuitions, computer classes or even acquaitances like a friend's brother or sister!! While I am not all that kicked up about acquaintances, I am absolutely delighted when I hear from a school or college friend or someone with whom I shared a close relationship but we drifted due to respective careers, marraige or circumstances.

There is a lot of joy in exchanging information about our lives in the few years we have not been in touch albeit through IM or e-mails or even phone calls. After the first paper trail, I tend to think and wonder how we have all grown and changed ( for better or worse) in our respective lives, both physically, emotionally, proffesionally and personally.

I don't believe in living in the past. I enjoy every phase to the fullest and move on...and i think that's the way it works best. You can never hear me saying 'I wish we could go back in time'....I am very happy where I am right now, and I also enjoyed that time earlier. PERIOD. However, these little surprises are wonderful as it feels really good to know how my friends are doing and vice versa! Three cheers to orkut, indeed!! :-)
I can't access orkut from work coz its termed a dating site....so I am so kicked about going home to check orkut coz a friend would have left a scrap or posted pictures of themselves, especially curious to see their spouses coz we would have discussed at length about it in college, or friends who have just had babies....it brings so much happiness and i am so excited and gush all about it to S, who can't really relate to it coz he has never met them! :D

Something to look forward to...

The long weekend was extremely relaxing and we were blissfully living in our own heaven! :-)

S and I crossed our fingers and finally booked our tickets to Italy! :-) So the preparation starts now, and we pored the net, travel books and some detailed information from a dear friend, Asha who made a trip to Italy and Austria in April this year ( she has neatly filed all the details and I get ready-made organized information!). Last time, when we planned a trip to Singapore, it was much easier as we stayed with S's mama there who also took us around a lot! Here, we will obviously have to figure out accomodation, finances, leave, clothes ( yup, I never let go of any chance!) among other things...

Anyways, I am very excited about the trip and wanted to put it down in writing!! Something that I am REALLY looking forward to... if any blog readers have some information to share, please comment...

Living separate lives...

Speaking to my SIL on the phone, who lives in the U.S for a decade now, reminded me how much our lives are separate, even from immediate family nowadays...I remember how as a kid, I have spent many a vacation, playing with my cousins, stealing mangoes from the near by factory and feeling all heroic about it among so many other exciting things we did. I vividly remember my Dad used to give away prizes for all of us for which we had to learn the multiplication tables. We would have a competition and of course, the one who gives the maximum correct answers would win them! We lived near the beach ( my parents still do!) and we would all get up early in the morning and go the beach to play in the waters and later play seven stones, volleyball, throwball etc..When i think about it now, I did have a lot of fun and I have travelled all over the country with my Mom and sometimes, cousins too!

As we grew up, especially since i got married, except for a few e-mails here and there, and of course, thanks to our respective careers we have all moved apart.

S and I often wonder, if and when we have kids, they will hardly have any family, to interact or play with, except maybe our respective siblings ( we both have only one!), and that too, if we all happen to live in the same country...

Fact remains that, work takes up so much of our time during the week, that when weekend comes all we both want to do is spend time with each other rather than socializing. Everyone has termed us an 'anti-social' couple! Just so that we have more time on weekends, sometimes i try to do the grocery-shopping on Friday evenings coz I invite my friends for dinner or lunch. Since we moved to our new home, i try and call people over...

I have never stayed alone all my life or travelled alone anywhere until i got married. Now, I am used to both. I do miss my parents even now but I am kind of accustomed to it now. Initially, I would cry at night that I want to see my mother! :-) A 22-yr old crying for her mother, I know...I was too naive those days...I think I still am, in certain ways...but I can take care of myself now, atleast I think so! On occasions like birthdays, I feel bad that I am not there with them. I try to make it special for them, and that's when I did this for my Dad! Amma's birthday is on 30-aug and I am wondering how i can make it special for her... :-) Infact, I know what i am going to do...

The grass is always greener on the other side!

We all have fantasies that we hope that it may come true sometime in future. But sometimes when it actually does happen, you don't really think it was really all that worth it, it could be meeting someone of whom you had a better mental image than in reality or doing something you thought would be super fun!

One such fantasy of mine in my teens was to live alone or with friends and do anything I want with noone to supervise me or discipline me from watching T.V. to eating whatever I want, wear whatever i want... or to go anywhere I want to! I live that 'fantasy' very often whenever S is away on travel. The initial two days are fun, to be with myself and all the ruminating! I do watch T.V. and eat/not eat if i want to, or read as much as I want, without any practical chores to do...but by the third day, my feet needs to be dragged to go back to an empty home. There is an eerie silence in the house...which is kinda prickly!

One sentence that you can often hear me saying is 'An individual is an individual', but this turns into an overload of individual space. Indeed, the other side of the grass is always greener!!

My touch to a plain candle holder!

New additions to my Home!

Calmness Personified, Literally!

Our very own Buddha under a personalized Bodhgaya tree that emanates light ;-)