Thinking aloud...

When I created this blog, I did'nt really think or intend for a lot of people to read it, just thought of it as an online journal and hence the inane title and screen-name...I did'nt give it too much thought. Interestingly, friends who read my blog nowadays seem to refer to me as 'prettywoman' and it brings a smile on my face! :)

Some time back, I saw an interview of the gorgeous Actress Goldie Hawn, she has a certain child-like enthusiasm in her that is adorable. She said that when her mother died....80% in her did too....She said " I thought to myself - who would I want to make proud now? ". That is EXACTLY how I feel about my parents - both Amma and Appa. Fortunately, my parents are here with me and by God's grace and blessings, I hope they will be with me for a long time to come....But I think of them every single day in every little thing I do...and rush to call Amma to give her all the little tiny details of my life with as much description as possible.

I think I am still their 'little girl' - I know that's how it is from every parent's eyes! In my case, I'd rather remain that and not grow up! I still revel in their pride and feel deliriously happy when I make them proud, especially when they tell me so often that I do! :) Noone else's opinion matters as much!

Off late, I have heard of so many young people who have died suddenly, 21, 23 and 30 years old - an accident, a sudden illness and I can't stop thinking about how unfulfilled souls they would be...their unrealised dreams, love, places they have never been to, unfulfilled desires...I find it difficult to explain the anguish I feel for them...often, people console you that they are in a better place...but I fervently wish God had given them more time!

One of them was a friend who would talk to me very often about her personal life and she also told me that she would have noone to talk to, as I was relocating to a different city. We tried to remain in touch through the distance and she had been through a difficult relationship, divorced and was really looking forward to love, a new life...new beginnings....it haunts me that she did'nt live long enough to enjoy the good things in life...she did not live life fully...I wonder what went through her mind...

Once, I read on someone's wall on facebook that " Never tell your problems to anyone ...20% don't really care and the other 80% are really glad you have them". I personally think that its a very cynical way of looking at it and fact remains that nobody can really solve your problems. I don't want to be cynical or bitter, I would like to believe that there is goodness in everyone. If the problems are within your control, try to solve them and if they are out of your control, I normally pray to God. That's all I can do and I strongly believe he knows what is best for us...have to admit that its difficult to remain optimistic and cheerful ALL the time...I do have my days! :) But I jump back to action pretty soon...I don't stay sad for too long, simply because it takes little things to make me happy :) and Of course, I have a fantastic support system. Amma's positive words and vibrant nature always makes me feel much better and I feel hopeful.

Many of my friends feel comfortable enough with me to share their very personal things or problems and I am glad that I can be someone they can trust...for a long time, I would always ruminate and try to think of a solution to their problem...then I realized that when I go talk to S or Amma about something that troublles me, do I expect a solution? I don't , I just want to vent...that's all. So I got my answer. I am very well aware that we all have to fight our individual battles but its easier when you have someone who is a good moral support and is generally optimistic about everything...the positive energy is infectious and renews hope in you.

A friend in college once told me that she feels that I am like water in a jug! Apparently, I adapt myself to my surroundings and people as water does to the jug or any container that holds it! Being a piscean, I do love water - be it the beach or tears! Both S and my brother make fun of me...especially if we are watching an emotional scene or a sad movie...coz I am always in tears!!

Last but not the least thought in my mind...is that if someone looks me up and down on the street or when I am out...the first thing that crosses my mind is " Damn! Are my pants unzipped?" and I check! :D

What are YOU thinking about?

Its a thin line...

Despite our claims to remain united and pluming patriotism, there is most definitely a clear divide between North-South India! There....I have said it!!

I am sick and tired of rude comments, ridicule in the name of humour and disgusted with a certain section of people who belong to both regions, that I have come across in life so far....I hate this crap! I am very proud of being a Tamilian, and yes, I am an iyer who speaks tamil with a typical dialect common to Bramhins..that's the way I speak...take it or leave it!!

When I moved to Bangalore and now in Pune, I hear some extremely tactless comments, mostly and sadly only from North Indians....
" My god! Are you a tamilian? You are not dark?"
"You are from madras, but you are so well-dressed(??) and modern??"
" You dont look like a tamilian at all, you look like a punjabi or gujju or nothing remotely south indian??"

What makes you think, all tamilians are dark...and if at all, some of them are dark, its coz we all scorch in the sun and the weather is extremely hot and all our skins are tanned. Just coz, I am not rude and for one, have consideration for other's feelings, unlike you...doesnt mean you can get away with anything ( No, I am not overreacting, I have got this too many times....I am not amused!) Do I ask you how do you look so ugly?? ( what the hell...)

As for being well-dressed, in which world are you? Have you been to chennai recently? There are a huge number of well-dressed people and as modern as it can get! Anyways, every individual dresses according to his/her comfort, personality and convenience. It has nothing to do with where you live!!! Yes, to a large extent, our surroundings and upbringing do determine the way we dress up. And by the way, " Modern" dressing does'nt necessarily mean well-dressed.

Yes, where we come from and the surroundings we grow up in does determine our attitudes, personality and knowledge. In today's day and age, with no boundaries in terms of geography, the advent of internet and numerous sources of information, everybody in every nook and corner of India is well versed with the worldy affairs as well as the latest fashions...Inspite of YOUR ignorance, people down south have a nice blend between modern as well as traditional attire...and we are proud of it. We strike a balance!!

NO! This is not a post about how great south Indians are...This is to vent my anger and frustration against Indians ( Yes, Indians) who think they can get away with whatever they say, in the name of humour!!! The best example is LOLA KUTTY on MTV, or heroines in madisaar ( 9-yard saree worn by bramhins) and the sad jokes on malayali accent and any kind of ridicule on certain sections of the country. Down south, the movies portray gujaratis as fat women cooking and eating all the time or sidey-looking money lenders which is equally unacceptable and in bad taste.

Repeat jokes or comments ridiculing people can be taken easily the first time, after a point, it gets to the point of being hurtful, immature and downright silly. GROW UP!!!!

P.S - I have nothing against north indians...this is a personal account of my experiences and anguish...being a south indian, I know one side of the story....no offence meant!! )