Thursday, November 8, 2007

Struggle!


I am someone who is excited about anything and everything.....(now that its diwali,I am waiting to light the carved diyas and paper-mesh light at home!!). At the same time, I also have these bouts of negative thoughts right when I am having fun or extremely happy that dampens my spirit....and I have a fit of sudden rage, anger, irritability and finally end up in tears...it is as if I myself am not happy that I am happy!!!

I hate the fact that one loss in my life sits so strong on my mind that it haunts me time and again. A very confident woman is now scarred for life? I hope not....I know its all within me but I struggle to come out of it. Some people tend to be so rude and mean, without any consideration for your feelings. Maybe, they mean well but finally its my personal struggle that nobody can help me with. I feel very insecure and fear grips me! what if....

I have read time and again that life is all about being positive and I strongly believe in prayer, God and that happiness is a state of mind.....I am looking forward to all good things.....in life with the new year and new house.......new beginnings!!! :)



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