Indian Weddings down south!

99labels announced the 99labels Wedding Week Contest and I decided to participate in it for three reasons:
1. It's a really interesting subject and often the topic of heated discussions in many conversations
2. It's a good opportunity to create awareness about the meaning behind tradition and rituals
3. It's a bonus if I win the loot, of course!

All you have to do is blog about one or more of the following topics:

• My big fat Indian wedding
• What “not to do” while planning a wedding!
• My dream wedding – Simple or lavish?
• Traditions I love/hate in Indian weddings
• My wedding shopping spree!

Traditions I love in Indian Weddings
As a little girl, growing up watching numerous romantic movies where the brides are dressed up like angels in lovely white gowns, I always thought that is the best way to get married. In my innocence, it never struck me that religion had anything to do with a wedding or that only Christians have a white wedding!

I belong to a South Indian Bramhin family and I am married to the most wonderful husband in the whole wide world...my dream did come true and how! I had an elaborate two- day wedding replete with all the rituals, amidst sacred chanting, auspicious beginnings and the blessings of our loved ones.

Like everything else in India, weddings look a little imperfect without traditions, rituals, fun and celebrations. Today, having travelled to different countries and experiencing different cultures and meeting different kinds of people...I realize that there is so much meaning and a sense of togetherness in our way of life - especially at weddings.

Everyone Counts!
Indian weddings are often a family affair, its not just about the bride and groom. Cousins, aunts, uncles and other relatives had come down for the wedding and its such a fun opportunity to meet everyone. Everyone helped a great deal with the wedding preparations and in receiving all the guests, sharing my parent's responsibilities. I also love the fact that in all our rituals, an aunt or uncle or brother has a role to play in every custom, it gives them a sense of participation and they feel important.

In south Indian weddings, there is a ritual called "Malai Mathal" which literally means "exchange of garlands". The bride and groom are lifted to the shoulders of their respective maternal uncles. This is an expression of continuing sibling support to their mother. It is often a lot of fun and laughter as the bride and groom dodge each other and everyone participates and enjoys the lightheartedness.

Kanyadaanam - a tribute to the Father-Daughter relationship
Kanyadaanam is a very important part of every Indian wedding. In a South Indian wedding, the bride sits on her father's lap while he performs the "kanyadaan" - "kanya" refers to girl and "daanam" refers to giving away. The father gives his most cherished gift, his daughter as a gift to the groom. It is believed that the groom is a form of Lord Vishnu. Thus, presenting him their most precious child is deemed as the greatest honor for the parents of the bride.

It is such a beautiful tradition and is such a lovely way to honour the parents of the bride. I was thrilled to be sitting on Appa's (father's) lap while getting married. I am truly his girl! I remember the pandit telling me to steadily look into my husband's eyes (I glady did) as part of the custom while sitting on Appa's lap while he tied the thali or mangalsutra to solemnize our union amidst vedic chants, our parents, relatives and everyone rushing to bless us with akshadai (rice-grains coated with turmeric and saffron, are showered on the couple, by elders and invitees – as benediction) and flowers - I remember that gorgeous moment even now!

Saptha Pathi - 7 steps towards an eternity of love and happiness
In "SapthaPathi" or seven steps, the groom holds the bride's hand and takes seven steps together around the holy fire. With each step, they take a vow - the belief is that when one walks seven steps with another, one becomes the other’s friend. In this small gesture, intimacy is mingled with earnest intentions, vowing in front of God - giving the ritual a whole new meaning. In North Indian weddings also, this is a very important step and is referred to as "Saath Phere".

Having watched the "Saath Phere" over and over in so many movies, it actually felt surreal yet wonderful to go through the same thing in real life. I also felt that this ritual propogates equality - that the man and woman are friends, companions for life.

Nalangu - good humoured fun!
The evening of the wedding day is "Nalangu" - a time to relax and have fun. The newly wed wife calls her husband for play. Much to the amusement of all gathered, there follows a series of playful games. During these events women sing songs, making fun of the bride, the groom and the in-laws.

Nalangu is good entertainment for all the guests and it also helps the bride and groom shed their inhibitions and get closer. At my wedding, I did'nt get a chance to play "Nalangu" as my husband felt it was very childish and we were too tired by then. We were engaged for a year before we got married so we had no inhibitons whatsoever by then, happily chatting away, much to the chagrin of my mother who wanted me to at least pretend to be a coy bride!

I am so glad that I got married in typical South Indian style intermingled with tradition, fun, and lots of love and blessings. Every single tradition and ritual has a deep meaning and fun element to it and its a once-in-a-lifetime experience...and you get married only once (well, atleast in my case)!

Your outlook towards life reflects who you are...similarly, I choose to look at the brighter side of every tradition and enjoy it thoroughly. I just LOVE our culture, tradition and weddings, of course!

Here’s how to participate:

1. Become a member of 99labels (If you are not a member already) by clicking on the referral link at the bottom of this post. (You get Rs 100 worth of credit free to shop!) .
   
   1. Create a log-in preferably using the email id attached with your blog. This is to protect the anonymity of some bloggers as the referral link (read rule 2) displays your email-id.
2. Post your referral link on the post (This means that whoever becomes a member clicking on the link gets Rs 100, and whenever you referral buys an item you get Rs 500). To find your referral link
   
   1. Log in on http://www.99labels.com/
   2. Click on “Invite friends” on the top menu.
   3. Go to bottom of page and look for “Copy and paste your personal invitation link” and paste the link at the bottom of your post E.g . My Referral invite – http://www.99labels.com/v1/Become-Member.aspx?re=xyz@gmail.com
3. Copy and paste all the rules in your post.
4. Leave a link to your post in the comments section of the contest page of 99labels http://blog.99labels.com/2010/10/25/wedding-week-blogging-contest/.
5. Copy and paste this image at the end of the post and the category under which you have posted.

Edited to add: I won second place and a 1000 Rs. gift voucher!! Yay!!!

Diwali as a kid!

Nowadays, after every festival, it takes me back in time, like I did this the last time. Apart from Janmashtami, Diwali is another festival I really look forward to. I find the significance of celebrating Diwali really meaningful. As a grown-up now, I understand that it is a celebration of the victory of good over evil.

As a kid, all I could think of, was the new clothes, crackers and holidays that I would spend playing with my friends all day! I remember cursing myself for being a girl, coz my hair would take some time to dry and I would have to wait to burst crackers while my brother would wake up at the crack of dawn and start bursting the more 'dangerous' ones while I would stick to flowerpots and discs, maybe... After lunch, we would change into old clothes and burst 'bijli vedi' by hand!!

Sometimes, I would burst one or two in my hands and hurt myself, but would bear it coz I did'nt want to made fun of, or worse, sent home! We would also collect all the ones that did'nt go up, remove the gunpowder and then, put all the remaining small 'not-so-dangerous' bijli or kuruvi vedi into a coconut shell and light it. We used to be mighty thrilled when it would fly in all directions as if we had achieved a major feat! It was considered a 'seniors' activity and I would rant and rave that I want to join my brother. He would grudgingly let me tag along coz my mom would'nt let him go without me. She would be tired from all the work at home, the least she would want is a stubborn, crying, cranky kid bugging her!

Then, for the gala, we would all save up our fancy and expensive crackers like Rockets, seven stars among others, pool it and we would all go to the terrace and hand over our precious crackers to the senior kids ( read brother and kids of his age) . We would all watch the beautiful sparkles and enjoy ourselves all together as a group. We had a lovely group in our colony, and even otherwise we would all play together. My brother and I, were so happy we lived there...we finished our homework and assigned household chores and run to play everyday! I am, still in touch, with a few of them through orkut or facebook even now.

Amma would make tons of 'ribbon pakoda' and my brother and I, would eat to our heart's content and stomach's discomfort. What fun those days were!!

Now, I have mellowed down and spend Diwali lighting diyas at home, as you can see and visiting and receiving friends...which is great too!! I am spending a 'grown-up' Diwali, spent most of the extra off's from work, watching movies back-to-back, nice conversations with S, eating bhuttas and reading books! Of course, even now the excitement of new clothes has not gone down! I wore lovely clothes and preened in front of the mirror!

I presume when we have kids, my enthusiam for crackers will resurface or not..who knows? Will have to wait and watch!!

Changeover!

Yesterday was Janmashtami and I rushed home to make neivedyam, at least the basics like pal payasam if not the works ( read uppu cheedai, vella cheedai etc.). After I spoke to Amma over the phone i remembered how she would make sure we would celebrate all the festivals with equal fervour despite the fact that she was a working mom. I would love the small foot prints of Krishna that would run across the hall to the Pooja and would long to do it myself and beg Amma to let me do my haphazard yet sincere attempt. As I grew older, I would scoff at traditions, more so due to lack of awareness of why we do it.

Now that I am married and live alone, I am able to appreciate and understand these interesting customs, traditions and festivals that come up to brighten up our banal existance and long for some more time and energy to celebrate it with renewed vigour after a long day at work! I think that when my mom took so much efforts to celebrate every festival despite feeling tired after a long day at work and long hours of travel....my life is so much easier and more comfortable....yet I bow down to laziness and feign ignorance?!! I would also like my kids ( when they come into my life!) to know, understand and enjoy these festivals and I should do whatever I can to educate them about it. There are lots of customs and traditions that we follow blindly, but in reality there is some logic or good reason for doing it. Most of the times, people do not ask nor do people bother to explain! OK! I digress...

I love the 'Ganesh Chathurthi' festival and I remember running along with Appa or Anna to the market to buy the beautiful clay idols and I would proudly carry Gannu's umbrella as I amble along with Appa back home and strangers on the road would smile at us and ask "Enna vinayakar vandacha??" ( So Lord Vinayaka has come home?). I vividly remember arriving home to hear Amma sing 'Morya re....Ganpati Pappa morya re...' ( My parents lived in Bombay in the initial years of their marraige) and it is a grand celebration in North India. Since we moved to Pune and we have been around for more than a year now, I get to see huge idols everywhere and it makes me sooo deliriously happy and excited. We are so immune to seeing Ganesha everywhere in our lives that the minute I see an elephant walking on the road, I am promptly reminded of the friendly God! Elephants have this innate quality of appearing child-like and innocent that is extremely endearing. Of course, the fact that they are known to be very unpredictable, strong and dangerous does not cross your mind. I have a huge indulgent smile on my face when I see an elephant anywhere! When I went on a trip with my friends from SRM ( my first job!) I remember falling in love with a baby elephant :)

I am looking forward to Ganesh Chathurthi this year, and of course, hoping its a holiday at work !! ;)