MIA!

...coz I am holidaying in India, to be specific in Pondicherry! For the first
time, I am embracing the sun and the heat with open arms after the numbing cold winters in Paris (I will go back to all the snow soon)...

Down South, people head to Pondy just as people head to Goa in the West! I found a really cute jumpsuit for a song here, thanks to my brother's superior bargaining skills. Knowing me, I am thoroughly enjoying the shopping, sun, beaches, love, laughter, happiness and all the shopping!!! Did I say that already? ;)

Jumpsuits are really cool, casual and are best paired with a tight-fitting top! This black jumpsuit in cotton takes the cake!!

Indian Weddings down south!

99labels announced the 99labels Wedding Week Contest and I decided to participate in it for three reasons:
1. It's a really interesting subject and often the topic of heated discussions in many conversations
2. It's a good opportunity to create awareness about the meaning behind tradition and rituals
3. It's a bonus if I win the loot, of course!

All you have to do is blog about one or more of the following topics:

• My big fat Indian wedding
• What “not to do” while planning a wedding!
• My dream wedding – Simple or lavish?
• Traditions I love/hate in Indian weddings
• My wedding shopping spree!

Traditions I love in Indian Weddings
As a little girl, growing up watching numerous romantic movies where the brides are dressed up like angels in lovely white gowns, I always thought that is the best way to get married. In my innocence, it never struck me that religion had anything to do with a wedding or that only Christians have a white wedding!

I belong to a South Indian Bramhin family and I am married to the most wonderful husband in the whole wide world...my dream did come true and how! I had an elaborate two- day wedding replete with all the rituals, amidst sacred chanting, auspicious beginnings and the blessings of our loved ones.

Like everything else in India, weddings look a little imperfect without traditions, rituals, fun and celebrations. Today, having travelled to different countries and experiencing different cultures and meeting different kinds of people...I realize that there is so much meaning and a sense of togetherness in our way of life - especially at weddings.

Everyone Counts!
Indian weddings are often a family affair, its not just about the bride and groom. Cousins, aunts, uncles and other relatives had come down for the wedding and its such a fun opportunity to meet everyone. Everyone helped a great deal with the wedding preparations and in receiving all the guests, sharing my parent's responsibilities. I also love the fact that in all our rituals, an aunt or uncle or brother has a role to play in every custom, it gives them a sense of participation and they feel important.

In south Indian weddings, there is a ritual called "Malai Mathal" which literally means "exchange of garlands". The bride and groom are lifted to the shoulders of their respective maternal uncles. This is an expression of continuing sibling support to their mother. It is often a lot of fun and laughter as the bride and groom dodge each other and everyone participates and enjoys the lightheartedness.

Kanyadaanam - a tribute to the Father-Daughter relationship
Kanyadaanam is a very important part of every Indian wedding. In a South Indian wedding, the bride sits on her father's lap while he performs the "kanyadaan" - "kanya" refers to girl and "daanam" refers to giving away. The father gives his most cherished gift, his daughter as a gift to the groom. It is believed that the groom is a form of Lord Vishnu. Thus, presenting him their most precious child is deemed as the greatest honor for the parents of the bride.

It is such a beautiful tradition and is such a lovely way to honour the parents of the bride. I was thrilled to be sitting on Appa's (father's) lap while getting married. I am truly his girl! I remember the pandit telling me to steadily look into my husband's eyes (I glady did) as part of the custom while sitting on Appa's lap while he tied the thali or mangalsutra to solemnize our union amidst vedic chants, our parents, relatives and everyone rushing to bless us with akshadai (rice-grains coated with turmeric and saffron, are showered on the couple, by elders and invitees – as benediction) and flowers - I remember that gorgeous moment even now!

Saptha Pathi - 7 steps towards an eternity of love and happiness
In "SapthaPathi" or seven steps, the groom holds the bride's hand and takes seven steps together around the holy fire. With each step, they take a vow - the belief is that when one walks seven steps with another, one becomes the other’s friend. In this small gesture, intimacy is mingled with earnest intentions, vowing in front of God - giving the ritual a whole new meaning. In North Indian weddings also, this is a very important step and is referred to as "Saath Phere".

Having watched the "Saath Phere" over and over in so many movies, it actually felt surreal yet wonderful to go through the same thing in real life. I also felt that this ritual propogates equality - that the man and woman are friends, companions for life.

Nalangu - good humoured fun!
The evening of the wedding day is "Nalangu" - a time to relax and have fun. The newly wed wife calls her husband for play. Much to the amusement of all gathered, there follows a series of playful games. During these events women sing songs, making fun of the bride, the groom and the in-laws.

Nalangu is good entertainment for all the guests and it also helps the bride and groom shed their inhibitions and get closer. At my wedding, I did'nt get a chance to play "Nalangu" as my husband felt it was very childish and we were too tired by then. We were engaged for a year before we got married so we had no inhibitons whatsoever by then, happily chatting away, much to the chagrin of my mother who wanted me to at least pretend to be a coy bride!

I am so glad that I got married in typical South Indian style intermingled with tradition, fun, and lots of love and blessings. Every single tradition and ritual has a deep meaning and fun element to it and its a once-in-a-lifetime experience...and you get married only once (well, atleast in my case)!

Your outlook towards life reflects who you are...similarly, I choose to look at the brighter side of every tradition and enjoy it thoroughly. I just LOVE our culture, tradition and weddings, of course!

Here’s how to participate:

1. Become a member of 99labels (If you are not a member already) by clicking on the referral link at the bottom of this post. (You get Rs 100 worth of credit free to shop!) .
   
   1. Create a log-in preferably using the email id attached with your blog. This is to protect the anonymity of some bloggers as the referral link (read rule 2) displays your email-id.
2. Post your referral link on the post (This means that whoever becomes a member clicking on the link gets Rs 100, and whenever you referral buys an item you get Rs 500). To find your referral link
   
   1. Log in on http://www.99labels.com/
   2. Click on “Invite friends” on the top menu.
   3. Go to bottom of page and look for “Copy and paste your personal invitation link” and paste the link at the bottom of your post E.g . My Referral invite – http://www.99labels.com/v1/Become-Member.aspx?re=xyz@gmail.com
3. Copy and paste all the rules in your post.
4. Leave a link to your post in the comments section of the contest page of 99labels http://blog.99labels.com/2010/10/25/wedding-week-blogging-contest/.
5. Copy and paste this image at the end of the post and the category under which you have posted.

Edited to add: I won second place and a 1000 Rs. gift voucher!! Yay!!!

Random questions I don't like to answer!

Very often, friends and acquaintances ask me this question - Do you miss India? Do you miss *particular city here* ? Well, I have to say NO! I don't miss any city per se, I miss the people in that city or country. For most people, they have an affinity to a certain city or country coz they have good memories associated with that city....they may have good friends who live there....well, at least for me, that's what it is. I never have an affinity for a specific place. Really. I like every city or in my case now, country I move to ( I have moved only once and now!). I make new friends, develop new tastes and start liking the nuances of that place I love and live in.

Also, noone held me at gunpoint and asked me to move here. I was well aware of the pros and cons of moving out of India and I willingly did so. I am not going to give reasons or justify myself. But we made an informed decision and we are happy about it. India is my home country and I will always love it. I don't think i need to profess my love for my country only by saying 'I miss India'. Having said that, I must admit i DO miss the colorful festivals, the constant flurry of activity everywhere, the ease with which you can talk to just about anyone, seeing lots of friendly people, friends, family...definitely I do...but I know I will come back sometime! So it feels ok... :)

Then, there are some others who ask me why should I be the one to quit my job and move? Why can't S quit and move with me? Why should the woman sacrifice and leave everytime? I don't say anything coz I don't want to sound rude. But I think to myself, "what exactly are you trying to do?"!! I am certain that if I got a great opportunity and it is a lucrative opportunity in every sense, S would move with me. I enjoy my freelancing status now and I know I often crib about following up on payments...but at the end of the day, I love what I do, earn some, live some, enjoy some...and travel some! S does not have that luxury...what about that? I don't like people who ask questions or create trouble just for the heck of it.

Another tiring question I get all the time is that 'you got married so early?' ' God, you are a child-bride!!'...I am sick of having to answer that question. I am the married one, and a very happily married girl! Do you ever hear me complaining? Do I ask YOU why are you not married yet or why did you get married so late? I don't ask you such questions coz its none of my business...and frankly, its not yours either to ask me!! So quit bothering yourself over these little details that don't really concern you!

I know, sometimes, people ask questions to make conversation...there are a million things you can discuss about..why these? People forget to draw the line, most of the times they don't care! Its as if you are obliged to answer! Believe me, I am NOT!

I am proud to be an Indian!

...Snatches of conversations in Paris... S and I stroll across the open-air market in Odeon and as we are window-shopping, we found a shop that sold ties. Its an interesting package in a cute box that opens up to hold, a tie, cuff-links and a silk scarf or cloth or whatever people wear on their formal suits. S goes to office in formal suits and he often needs lots of ties ( not that I need any excuse to shop!). So we pick one among them...when the owner, a slightly old man...very excitedly...

Old Guy: Are you Indians? ( with a big smile on his face!)

Me: Yes! ( S conveniently leaves the talking to me, as always) ;-)

Old Guy (skeptically) : You are from the real India, not London?

Me: Yes !! ( amused)

He grabs my hand and very excitedly, shows me all the stoles.

He tells me all this is from your country, very beautiful, eh?

Me: I know! :-)

Old Guy: India is such a vast and beautiful country....He says 'Namaste' and folds his hands and bows!!

I am very pleased and we thank him. *******************************************************************************************
I am ravenously hungry as I have not had lunch so I stop by to have Crêpes, on the way back home from my French class. I spent a long time figuring out how to get there and all the tension to reach on time!! Its a really old lady who is making them and I feel sad as her hands shiver as she spreads the batter.( S and I often disagree with this, I feel sad that old people have to work at this age, instead of having a relaxed life while he thinks its good that they are independant and active!)

Crepe Lady: ( in French) So which country are you from?

Me: ( hearing the only word 'country', I get what she asks...) I am from India!

Crepe Lady (very excited and a big smile on her face!): Big country, lots of people....you speak 30 languages?

Me: I smile and say that there are about 26 states in India and each state speaks a different language! Oui! ( Yes!)

Crepe Lady: (speaks in broken English now)...You are very beautiful...all Indians are very beautiful!

Me: Merci Madame...

Crepe Lady: They are very intelligent too! Indians..very intelligent!

Me( amused): smiles...

Crepe Lady: You know Sonia Gandhi, she is from my Italy! Indian man married her...very intelligent!!!

Me: !!!!!!! ( now I know why she thinks we are intelligent)...LOL!

Jokes apart, I was very pleasantly surprised to know that she knows so much about India and is generally aware about other countries as well. I felt very proud. It feels good to hear such things about our country! :-)

I swear...by the sun and the moon and the stars!!

A chime that hangs on the window near my bedroom window! Its really cute, I love it! Will accompany me to Paris, among other things!!:-)

Giving life to Azoics!

Today as I rode my bike to the office hurriedly ( yup, am always rushing to work!)....I was wondering how there is a distinct discrimination even when it comes to inanimate objects like the vehicles on road....

The luxury Cars, stylish cars, cars in vogue, natty looking chic cars and all that jazz invite envious looks from onlookers and remind me of pretty young things who can further be categorized into the ultra stylish, fashionable girls and boys, the practical types and some who are a mix of both - stylish on some days and not-so-well-dressed on others....

The autos rickshaws and public buses represent the middle-aged men and women who earn a decent living, not very successful or very aggressive in their outlook. They are in a job with the sole intention of earning a living. They work not because they love their job, but for the sake of doing the right thing.

Just like some autos who would rather sit around and chat with their buddies, if they had a choice, they would rather laze around at home and relax instead of toiling in the workplace. Similar to autodrivers who haggle with their 'savaari' for an extra 10 or 20 bucks, they haggle with their bosses for an increment or promotion based on seniority rather than performance or productivity.

One that stands out in the traffic is the garbage van! Have you noticed how the other vehicles cringe when they are in the vicinity of a garbage van, well, coz it stinks in the entire neighbourhood as they pass by? But can you imagine, in what surrounding we would all live in, if the garbage is not cleared?

The garbage van represents people like the rag pickers, toilet cleaners, maids, labourers and other such workers who are always ignored and generally, taken for granted. Some of them are treated like untouchables akin to the garbage van that is avoided by all vehicles on the road. People make faces on signals when the garbage van is around, while he takes everyone's crap (literally!!).

As a kid, while fighting with other kids or more due to the fact that I didnt know too many bad words , I have used the toilet cleaner as an abusive word. Now, I realize how wrong I was...would I like to use a dirty bathroom at home? Don't I cringe when I see a dirty used toilet at my workplace or in a public utility areas? What a dirty world we would live in, if not for those people?

By the way, I was thinking about all this when I was cleaning the toilet at home yesterday and when I saw the garbage van today as I turned into plush, green and sparkling surroundings that lead to a cleaner office!!!....thanks to you-know-who!!! :)